shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
