yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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