Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
