Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
