It's Friday. Sex?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Randomize
