Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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