How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
