I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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