Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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