Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
