these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I wish there were birth control emojis
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize