6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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