Im at strip club and am horny
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
