Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Randomize
