your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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