I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
