I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
