A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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