worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
