honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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