dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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