My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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