You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
