How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
