I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize