You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
