woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I wish they made helmets for livers.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Randomize
