Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
farters have to be the big spoon...
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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