we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
