On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
