planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Four minutes until I can fart!
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Randomize
