So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize