It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
