i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
