She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
