$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
