Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
