is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Do vagina's smell?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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