A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
