pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
