i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize