weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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