smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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