I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
