He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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