u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
