We named our party play list daddy issues
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
