Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize