I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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