Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
