"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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