you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
