I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
