i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
