Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
