Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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