Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize