YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
