i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
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